Best Friends come in small packages

It is currently March 28. Today is an extremely important day. 20 years ago God gave my parents an angel in the form of my baby sister Mary.
Mary Elizabeth Holderbaum was born on March 28, 1991. It was a few days before Easter and a few hours before my grandma's birthday. She was the largest baby out of the three of us kids. Which if you see her now is ironic and hilarious.
My sister has been my best friend from a very young age. With us being 4 years apart I was the one she looked up to. Even as a kid I, was the one learning from my sister. She has taught me so much I am just blessed to know her.
For those of you that know her, you would agree she is an amazing woman. For those of you who don't, let me tell you she has a huge heart and a wonderful personality. She brightens up a room with her smile. Anything is possible in her world. She has the most contagious laugh I've heard in my life.
After most of our lives being right across the hall from each other my sister moved about 2 hours away. In July 2009 my sister got married and intern left home. It's very different not having her here even 2 years later. I miss her everyday. It's more difficult around birthdays and holidays.
Yesterday most of my family gathered for a birthday party for her and my grandma. I was unable to be there. That was very hard. Every part of me wanted to be there. I had to make a decision and it just wouldn't work, me going. I won't see her now for a month. That is very hard and emotional.
Now as far as sister's go, I'd have to say mine is the greatest in the world. My life would not be the same with out her. She has made me a better person. My Small Person (my nickname for her) has come through many struggles and still has an amazing outlook on life.
If I had half the optimism she does life would be a breeze. I guess that's the perfect example of how different God made us. She does inspire me to see the good in life.
This post isn't just about my feelings for my awesome Small Person. God brought her into this world for His glory. She is such a great testimony and a blessing. God has great things in store for her, that I'm sure. I pray that God uses her everyday. That she can be an example and help those around her.

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forgiveness

I watched this video about a month ago at MSU. I went and spent a day in the life of my brother. I got to stay with some amazing women and also go to movie night.
This trip was a planned for a few reasons. First, it was a way for me to spend time with my brother's wonderful girlfriend Sarah. I stayed with Sarah and her amazing roommate Allie. We had so much fun the first night having a girls night. Terrific and much needed.
The next day I got to spend quality time with Sarah. She is such an amazing woman. Beautiful on the inside and out. I was so blessed to have the time to spend getting to know her and bonding.
Second, it was a visit to see my brother. My brother, Jon, is 21 and a student at MSU. I don't see or talk to him very often so I went just to spend time with him.
He is very involved with Campus Crusade for Christ. He's one of the MC's for the Thursday night group called Real Life. I really wanted to see my brother in action, in his element. This was my chance to witness that.
It was movie night when I went. A little different then a usual Thursday. My brother kept apologizing for it being different. He didn't have to, God knew what I needed. He knew I needed to be in that room on that night.
This video was the second of three videos, but this was what God wanted me to see. I realized I have a forgiveness problem. I don't forgive well. I can't let things go. When someone hurts me I can't move on until they make it right.
I realize that it effects my life. Me not forgiving hinders my effectiveness for God. I can't be fully useful for God if I can't let things go. I put on a brave face and pretend things roll off my shoulders. They don't, little things eat at me.
My brother asked me what I thought after the meeting was over. I told him it was amazing and God was making me think. He wanted more details and I didn't have any. I need to think. I had to really take in what my heart was hearing.
This video really just brought me to my knees. I knew I needed some time to meditate on what God was saying to me. I got to do that on my ride home. About two hours of just talking to God.
There were many things I let go that night but one thing that was big was my brother. Until about a year and a half ago we didn't get along. Sometimes our fighting scared people. I did and said things I'm not proud of, so did he.
God really opened my eyes to how amazing Jon really is. I am so proud of the man he has become. I have been able to let go of the past and look forward to the future. I love that I can have my brother in my life.
I would not say I understand forgiveness. It's still hard to do. I would rather forgive and move on, enjoying everything God has for me, then being stuck. This experience was like no other and I thank my brother for that. Jon is a blessing to me and those around him. I thank God everyday for such an amazing brother and friend.

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