This trip was a planned for a few reasons. First, it was a way for me to spend time with my brother's wonderful girlfriend Sarah. I stayed with Sarah and her amazing roommate Allie. We had so much fun the first night having a girls night. Terrific and much needed.
The next day I got to spend quality time with Sarah. She is such an amazing woman. Beautiful on the inside and out. I was so blessed to have the time to spend getting to know her and bonding.
Second, it was a visit to see my brother. My brother, Jon, is 21 and a student at MSU. I don't see or talk to him very often so I went just to spend time with him.
He is very involved with Campus Crusade for Christ. He's one of the MC's for the Thursday night group called Real Life. I really wanted to see my brother in action, in his element. This was my chance to witness that.
It was movie night when I went. A little different then a usual Thursday. My brother kept apologizing for it being different. He didn't have to, God knew what I needed. He knew I needed to be in that room on that night.
This video was the second of three videos, but this was what God wanted me to see. I realized I have a forgiveness problem. I don't forgive well. I can't let things go. When someone hurts me I can't move on until they make it right.
I realize that it effects my life. Me not forgiving hinders my effectiveness for God. I can't be fully useful for God if I can't let things go. I put on a brave face and pretend things roll off my shoulders. They don't, little things eat at me.
My brother asked me what I thought after the meeting was over. I told him it was amazing and God was making me think. He wanted more details and I didn't have any. I need to think. I had to really take in what my heart was hearing.
This video really just brought me to my knees. I knew I needed some time to meditate on what God was saying to me. I got to do that on my ride home. About two hours of just talking to God.
There were many things I let go that night but one thing that was big was my brother. Until about a year and a half ago we didn't get along. Sometimes our fighting scared people. I did and said things I'm not proud of, so did he.
God really opened my eyes to how amazing Jon really is. I am so proud of the man he has become. I have been able to let go of the past and look forward to the future. I love that I can have my brother in my life.
I would not say I understand forgiveness. It's still hard to do. I would rather forgive and move on, enjoying everything God has for me, then being stuck. This experience was like no other and I thank my brother for that. Jon is a blessing to me and those around him. I thank God everyday for such an amazing brother and friend.
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